I've been having a really hard time blogging lately, and I wasn't quite sure what it was all about. I love having a blog, and I feel like there is so much that I could say or want to say. But I have found myself second guessing every idea, finding them all tired and uninspired.
A few things started to become clear, and I thought that they would be worth sharing. Honestly, I'm not sure exactly who reads this, aside from my mom and husband. But if there are other bloggers or dietitians out there reading, I thought it might be helpful to process some of this externally.
Who Is Reading?
The first internal battle that I realized I was fighting was "who is this really for?" Not just questioning whether I was writing this blog for me, or for the readers. Not just questioning who my readers really are. To be fair, these are both part of it, but not the full battle. I've been questioning whether the people reading my blog were coming to KatieGoldberg.com or were fans of dailyServing.
As the dietitian of dailyServing, I get to chronicle my time with the company in blog form, which is really fun. But currently, we're using my personal blog as that platform. So while I imagine that dailyServing fans might be interested in learning more about office life, or the way we chose our ingredients, I'm not sure that my private practice clients, friends and family want to know. Now mom, before you go rushing to comment that you're interested in both - you're the exception. And I love you for reading whatever I write :)
Honestly, this has kept me trapped. Instead of choosing to write for BOTH audiences, I've written for neither. Moving forward, I'm not going to try to reach both groups of people at the same time. Here's the reality...some posts are going to be geared towards my private practice, some posts are going to be geared towards dailyServing, and occasionally you're going to get a post like this - just ramblings of life. I also reserve the right to change my mind on this at any point ;)
Who Am I?
Another aspect of blogging that I've been wrestling with is self-doubt. What am I bringing to the table? Specifically, what am I bringing to the conversation that is unique? Aren't there a million other bloggers? Aren't most of them doing it better/prettier/more succinctly/with more followers than me? Also, let's be honest, I'm still not entirely sure who I want to be when I grow up.
I've struggled to find my voice in the nutrition space, and trust that there is room for a lot of different voices speaking to America on the issue. At this point in my career, I'm not the best. In fact, I may never be "the best" or "the expert" or "the go-to" for people. And I think that's ok. I find so much inspiration around me in dietitians who have been going at this for much longer than I have. They are GOOD. So good that it has caused me to shrink back and think I shouldn't bother.
But if I don't bother, then how will I get any better? If I don't post tons of crappy food photography pictures, how will I celebrate when my photos finally start improving (they will one day!)? If I don't practice finding my voice, how will I know when I've discovered it? And who knows, maybe things will get good enough where I can follow in the footsteps of some of these other dietitians who have an incredible voice, perspective and following. If I don't, though, will that be ok?
Hasn't it Been Said?
Finally, another aspect of the process that I've been struggling with is whether I'm bringing something new to the conversation. This is kind of silly, to be honest. Have you read a fitness magazine, a health website, or listened to the mainstream media? There is so much repetition. Because as much as dietitians sometimes try to hide it - there's not that much new news in nutrition. It's not rocket science. Weight loss still comes down to "eat less, exercise more". Eating more fruits and veggies is always going to be the top tip for improving health.
[side note: There is constantly new research coming out, and dietitians are uniquely poised to interpret the research and bring new information to you. But most people are Googling the same few things!]
Also, I need to remember that I spend ALL DAY thinking about food, reading about food, talking about food. The psychology, physiology and taste of food. You, dear reader, I suppose do not. Perhaps you are quite interested in the subject, but even so, what is routine and old news and "boring" to me, may not be for you.
So why am I so fearful to say something that's been said before? And who's to say that it won't be new to someone reading the blog? Or coming from a fresh perspective? Or just coming at the right time? Ever notice how the right info means nothing until it comes at the right time?!
Part of this thought process means developing a thicker skin. Part of it means that I need to stop over-thinking things. I've heard how destructive social media can be to people. If you know me outside of this blog, you know that appearance isn't super important to me. I don't wear make-up, I have a wardrobe that leans heavily towards casual and/or running attire, I'm not super concerned about being physically pulled together. I live a pretty simple life in many ways, and I'm really happy that way. I have felt pretty immune to the complexes that social media creates in others.
But suddenly I have realized how much social media is giving me anxiety about my career. I'm not succeeding the way other dietitians are, I'm not as active on social media, I'm not doing enough or being enough - how will I ever be able to make this a profitable enterprise? I've gotten so caught up in reading the amazing things my colleagues are putting out there. Instead of being inspiring, it is stirring up fear, jealousy and a frantic desire to get ahead, all while simultaneously causing utter paralysis. I'm ready to call bullsh*t, and remind myself to stay in my own lane. Learn from those around me, but don't think that I can - or should - be them.
Additionally, part of this process has resulted in a deep desire for feedback and interaction. I do want to know who I'm sharing a screen with, and how I can best meet your needs. I want this to be a place where people can comment and share in similar questions and thoughts.
If you have topics or questions that you'd like to see addressed on the blog, please let me know! In fact, you can use my fancy "contact me" form to do just that. If you have thoughts about a blog post, or it brings up more questions, let me know in the comments section. Just as I have gotten in my own way in writing the blog, you may be getting in your own way of helping someone else through your questions or story.
Any other bloggers relate to the struggles in content? Anyone else new in their field, and finding comparison to be devastating you? What encouragement do you need to step out and take a risk?